Office....

I'm now sitting in the office, alone.
I had never been so free since I started working here three weeks ago.
And THIS IS BORED.
OK, I know, I'm being crappy...
Ciao~~

未来

现在的我，最敏感的字眼就是 — 未来。
很久以前，这是个让我期待的词，不知怎么的，现在他成为我最大的负担与烦恼。
虽然，未来无法预料（这是大家都知道的事实），但它让我无法呼吸，我连梦都不敢梦。
我不知道是不是每个人都会有迷失方向的时候，但为什么我迷失的特别久？
我其实很想有目标的，谁不想有？但就是没有个可以让我豁出去的目标嘛……
如果这是别人能替我决定的，我也不会烦恼啦！

当我渐渐开始有点头绪的时候，大家似乎又不太支持。
那些无关紧要的人，又出言间接酸我，说什么我家有钱。
真是的，你以为我想要这样的吗？能选的话，我也想现在就有一份好工作。
就是知道了自己不适合广告那行，才想转的嘛……再者，我还是很喜欢广告，我学的东西是不会浪费的，别人也抢不了。
我知道，我想要再读书，可能会花多一点时间，但总好过不开心地做一份不适合自己的工作一辈子吧？我是有私心想圆自己一个大学梦，甚至是硕士梦，但没有要我父母负责我全部的花费。

听到这种鸟话我是真的很委屈，我并没有想要我的生活是这样，如果能，我也想要骄傲的说：我现在怎样，未来的计划将是怎样怎样的。有谁愿意生活没目标？我又不是脑袋吃草。

如果单单想而已，天上就能掉下“目标”的话，我早有了！唉…… 总觉得我窝囊透了。

Updates...

As my blog is so dead, i'll just do some updates here...

I'm officially the kindergarten's supervisor now, and doing quite, just that these few days have serious coughing.

Oh, and my hair grew longer. ^^

And my sis is back from Taiwan for CNY, but she's going back soon...

Cute William is in Malaysia again... He's now 3 years old... Time really flew huh?

For his younger photo click here. ^^

This time he really speaks a lot, with the accent, and the funny part is when my aunt speaks American English to him, he tried to correct her English to British English... (E.g. Plant, can't and etc.) But he's kinda confuse now. LOL. Cute.

My beloved 3rd aunt passed away few days ago. Whom you can always heard me talking about and whom took care of me a lot when I was in SS2. I believe she'll be watching over us now.

May she RIP.

SHOPPING!!

It has been a long time I did not shopping...
I mean GIRL shopping,
OK, maybe WOMAN shopping when it came to shop with mom.
(Miss those days shopping with my mates...)
Anyhow, you know la,
shopping with your mates is nothing like shopping with your mates.
*wink*
So... since I work I bought something for myself.
Last time was sunnies.
This time is a pair of shoes.
I know, I know,
buying a pair of shoe for yourself is not a big deal,
but this time the price do make some different...
The shoe is the most expensive I ever bought....
Teeheehee...


A sunnies just right for me,
my cheek and my nose bridge are kinda unusual...
so... hehe...
it's very hard to buy a comfortable and right sunnies...

It's a very comfortable flat. ^^

Although the price is ehem... but I love it...

Like the red.

Don't you think it's pretty?

LOL

OK, that's all.

Toodles~

After a month and few days...
I'm back!
Now I really can say my blog is half-dead...
Not that I don't want to blog,
just that I don't have time online...
at least not in the kindie.
Soon or later I'm going to get a portable,
so at night I can online...
really beh-tahan I can't online often,
it doesn't sound like me...
Haha...

Still up at late night 4 a.m.

Having some trouble sleeping nowdays.
Thinking about my future,
and the next step I should take.
"If you were me, what would you do?"
The answers I got from my close friends are:
"Damn it! Just take the job!!!",
"At least you try, no doubt it's a chance, but once you let go of advertising, it's hard to get back.",
" What kinda life do you want? The normal one? or something slightly challenging and glamourous?",
" You wanna boyfriend or husband or not?? If you are staying there, you only can be a mistress!"
OK, this is what I get from my parents.
My dad said "Go to study 1st la, when I can still pay for you."
My mom said "Think of what you want, as long as you are happy."

The thing I struggle so much is that I want a life that will not bore me.
Staying with kids is talking kinda childishly, i think. I don't get to talk to people that are around my age or I should say ADULT, not non, but not enough.
Yea, I know dealing with adult is harder than kids, but I'm kinda tired and bored when I'm working alone.

Somewhere inside be begin to dissapear. The fashion-concern MOI, I still bought mags monthly, but the thing is I seldom read them anymore, I missed that a lot! I love mags and fashion, but I don't get to wear them in kindie! So what for I'm concern about the fashion?? I'm only wearing t-shirts and long pants (sometimes skirts) working in the kindie. The fun of dressing up everyday to work (OK, my intern was only 3 months, but I do have fun wearing different clothes everyday!), and the air-con are gone. Oh, and entertainment maybe. G-O-N-E, GONE!

I know this should not be the main point considering to take the job or not, but that is part of me already.

In the other hand, it's very hard to get a job nowadays. Plus, working in kindie saves me a lot of money, coz I have no need of paying my trasportation, food, accomodation... and criticizingly, attire. If I'm going to get an advertising job, then I'll spent all the salary I has to these...

As I said earlier, dealing with kids is easier, because they are naive, the worst they can be is jumping all around like a monkey, and talk back to you. But in the adult world, it's not like this. I know, I know. I'm quite a simple person that always trust people easily, and in the end kena. But what the heck, everybody kena before, right? There are bit*hs all around.

OK, I have to stop thinking about it for today. Pretty tired.

I hate to make decisions, and I'm bad at it.

A day that doesn't go quite well...

DANG!!!

That's the only word I say.

The poor dog, Lucky got complained of barking for few days in the night,
and the neighbours said we are abusing the dog for tying him up long hours...
Lucky refuses to eat and drink.
And his back leg is on his back this evening, because the rope tanggles.

Few kids puke and shit on pants today... don't know why.
Maybe some virus spreading??

Haiz... I feel tired today.

*My new Nokia 5800 has being stolen, and I have trouble taking out my phone in front of the people now. I feel so insecure, and don't really have mood to work here.*